Sunday, July 15, 2007
I HAVE MOVED! DONT THINK I WILL BE UPDATING THIS BLOG ANYMORE. (:
or maybe i will once in awhile.
Friday, June 15, 2007
ohh ohhh! i wanna thank everyone who has made my birthday so wonderful this year! (:
i guess holding this chalet thing wasnt as bad as i thought. you know when i got there. i knew what dad was gonna say. he's like : this place is smaller than my house and it's not air conditioned! and after that he said : jo! why did we get this place in the first place? we could have held it in our own house! hah. well. i have no idea. but thing is, if it's in my house. we cant drink and we are gonna disturb my parents when they sleep cause we didnt sleep! we wont be able to talk and wont be able to go to the beach. but at least we can get out of the house for sure. but with air con. i dont think anyone wont sleep. (: maybe we should hold it in someone's house next year. like either twin's house or my house. yeps. preparing the food was the worse part. you have to buy, prepare, pack, load up the car, unload and start bbq-ing. piang! hard work. there's too many things to say about the chalet. besides the part that people started smashing cake into twin's face and mine. idiot. i knew the guys were up to something cause everyone stood so close to one another. abel was the first to smash a cake into my face. but he was busy laughing when i attacked him back. (: all and all, even though it was bad cause it's all over your face, hair and shirt and sticky, it was still fun!!! we started to emo at night. well. that's what always happen if there's nic and jia around. we will just start talking and everything comes. my special present came like 10 mins before 12. it was a big surprise and i really love it. (: hah. the whole thing was tiring. bjorn, jia and i came straight home, showered and slept all the way to 3. piang. shagged! hah.
i still dont have a reason. and it really makes me wonder whether i really give a fuck about you. cause i dont believe in you anymore. yet. i try to be in denial. tell me your reason for coming back.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
happy belated birthday bean! (:
sorry bean. i know it's like 5 days late. so sorry. will make it up to you okay!? i will sing you a song. (: happy belated birthday to bean. happy belated birthday to bean! happy belated birthday to BBBBEEEEAAANNNNN, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO BEAN! -applause.- :D
happy birthday to martin!
guess what? it's martin's birthday today! hah. bet he's smiling an extra more today. (:
okay. these are all the june babies. hah. june babies rock man. have been studying the whole week. followed the timetable yinfung gave me. (: have no idea where he is now. had tuition today. dr roberts was really nice. we told him we didnt went for lessons for 2 weeks. so he briefly went through the worksheet he gave us. awesome. i was looking forward to it. maybe because i missed his lessons. i am missing maths lessons too. and i am missing my maths tutor. ): hiya! i am gonna die for common test i think. i think i am going to R.E.T.A.I.N! waited for nic today outside orchard point when there were like seats. took out my bio notes to like read it. then this indian couple were next to me. the lady was like saying : so poor thing. why is she studying here. i just looked at her. nic came. went for tuition. well. time passed damn quickly. one of our tuition mates mubbles big time. like for nuts sake open your mouth and talk! nic bought old chang kee and i bought tori-Q for lunch. took a bus to nic's house to take our stuff. man. her brother shattered my heart. ): like SHATTERED!
PREPARE FOR SHIT TIME!
you are just a bloody asshole. blaming others for what you have done wrong. you have never gone to reflect whether you are at fault or not. excuse me. i am not the cause for your breakup. i shall repeat : I AM NOT THE CAUSE FOR YOUR DAMN FUCKING BREAK UP WITH YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND. GET IT? if you dont, then i am sorry. cause i cant translate for you into chinese since my com doesnt have the software. but i guess even if i have, you wouldnt even know how to read it. you didnt appreciate the fact that i came to talk to you about your problem with her. i talked to you nicely and what did you say to me? you said it's none of my business. it was your girlfriend who asked me for help to talk to you. i was on the phone with her when i messaged you and i told her everything i have typed in the message before sending them to you. what's your bloody problem? do some reflection please. hey. i was there to help. HElP not RUIN EVERYTHING. you ruined everything. next, i dont have a possessive problem because if i do, i would have objected her from going with you right from the beginning and even objected her to go with other guys. the problem lies with you! i've only talked to you once in my life. and that is about this. and you say i have possessive problem? think again kid. how well do you even know me to judge me? i have the right to judge you for everything you've done. and come on. just a nice hi doesnt mean she still has feelings for you. dont be so overly proud of yourself. it's her fault for misjudging the kind of person you are. you should count yourself lucky to have an ex girlfriend like her cause you dont deserve her. SHE'S JUST TOO GOOD FOR YOU SO ADMIT IT YOU JERK! i should just state the fact in your face now kay. the first time i saw you, i could see what kind of person you are. but she liked you. she fell for you and she chose you over other guys. i truly said: go on and be with him. i am sure he will treat you well and you will be happy being with him. when she told me she had feelings for you. AND GUESS WHAT? you took her for granted, you didnt really care about her well-being. you said she forced you to fetch her back. you didnt even truly love her. you just merely took her as YOUR TOY! you made her go back home all alone late at night when she stays like the opposite end of singapore. worse of all, you just send her to the bus stop opposite your house and throw her there on her own. what if smth happened to her? you know. you shouldnt blame her for the reputation you are getting now cause you are the one distorting your own image. so just turn around and bye bye.
sorry my dear girl that i have to be crude here. but it's the fact i am stating. you dont need him around you anymore cause you deserve so much better from someone who truly loves you. <3
Monday, May 28, 2007
oh man. it's the start of the school hols already! that's damn fast. very soon, i will be sitting for my common test then after that i will be having my sept hols and then come my promos. shit. that's damn fast!
the hockey girls played well on thursday even though we lost by one goal. it's okay. (: i didnt know how to go home from delta. so i walked all the way to the bus stop after bukit merah library. i was thinking about secondary school life while walking. and the songs that were playing really triggered the thoughts. i purposely missed all my buses just to take 855 home. and guess what?! the bus that came was the bus i always take. hah. i recognise the bus number plate. it's TIB 913 Z. i saw stc girls on the bus and i thought i still belonged there. i was sitting on the seat and i just didnt feel the same. that's when i realised hey i am not wearing my ij blue. the portion above my ankle doesnt feel as if there's something around it cause i'm not wearing the stc socks! oh man. i miss stc like mad. like omfg. i was thinking about everything okay. then i felt something missing. and that's my whole pile of books with my file! hah. i used to carry them to and from school and everyone will always offer help to carry them for me cause it's bloody heavy. i dont know how to managed to carry them. (: i'm still carrying the bag i always carry to stc. and it's how many times lighter than what i used to carry to school. so wierd right?! i was counting down the number of bus stops left to my stop. and that's when 'unfaithful' started to play. it made me remember that very day jillian loved that song. hah. rina, jillian, i and someone else were at the bus stop waiting for the bus. i let her hear the song. and that very day was like after bio paper i think. ): i wanna go back to sec 4! i want 4a back! it made me remember the 855 gang too. hiya! i could also tapped my card before going down. last time i couldnt even do it please. my hands are full and i wont be able to tap. walked home and have this tendency to like look my reflection on the windows of the church. i am not vain kay. but it's like ya. i always look to see if my uniform was neat even though i am just a few blocks away from home. that's when i realised i am no longer wearing the ij blue AGAIN! ): shit.
i met weixuan. saw her like from far but couldnt like confirm it was her. i was so so happy to see her. stc people! hah. we talked under the damn hot sun. and we realised there's so many things in common that we are facing right now. like we cant clique and everything. and most of all. WE MISS STC! shit shit shit! i really miss times in stc. i admit i didnt really like stc. but now i love it. like what weixuan said : treasure the times in stc when you can! time pass by so quickly that we dont even realise. i cant do well in my tests. and i feel like a damn failure. it's quite demoralising to know that you are lagging behind when actually in secondary school, you are way in front of people. crap.
benny and twin are in china now. i wonder how they are doing. i miss them badly. ): i feel empty inside like so insignificant. yet i feel that i should be left alone. life's bad for me even though i will always say i'm fine. i am not okay. gotta go study now before heading to jia's house i think. i dont know where i am going after leaving dad's office. i feel lost.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
my my. i can see my tagboard being flooded by you people. (: well. i just want to say.
happy belated birthday nicole tan!!! (((: though i know it's like umm. 2 days after your birthday but at least your special day has been made just for you. whee!! arent you happy? hah. well. let me give a brief summary of nicole tan's big day. ( it sounds like she's being proposed by someone.) on this special day, for the first time, you could see nicole tan from afar smiling to herself in the morning. it's like. she tries to keep her smile but then yet it was obvious. and yes. everyone wished her happy birthday. and abel teo thought that he wasnt the last. but apparently he was! (: tsk tsk tsk. abel teo. hah. okay. then we all went for assembly and she headed for class after that. well. it was like at 11 when i came out of bio lec. and i thought yes! now is the time to celebrate with my dearest girlfriend. and when i came out, while heading to the cafe, i bumped into guanghao and the rest. and he was like : die!! you know lt1 and lt2 have lecture. how to find a piano. luckily, it was his day. we just finished lec so the ava was empty for that period. (: happily walking to the cafe like asap, miss ng saw us. she says we cant be late. so have to be in by 1115. that was benny came along with twin with the cake. and ya. as usual. shit. i cant go cause i have tutorial. and guess what? yanxiu and i were the only ones in class while the others came in at 1130. pissing! ya ya. at least one slice of cake was left for me. yummy! :D it was delicious. hah! yuexing bought nic a cake. and that's when she got her present. hah. like cake at the sides of her face. eww! the student council norminees sang a birthday song for her. like 'use her for their campaign'. hah. how funny. and nicole keeps telling me the same thing. it was super funny and damn cute. she is like : jjooooo. my special day is ending soon. how? seriously, i dont know how to answer her. if i can, i will stop time for her. (: and she goes up to coach shaun they all saying : coach, you know today's a special day. hah. and i will be behind her hinting them what's the special day about. silly nic! (: but i still love you. and i will still love jia as much. as well as benny and twin! (:
we left for kallang at 1230. the guys put on a great fight. warren was super pissed with himself. and we realised when he's angry, he plays better. yingneng pissed his opponent off by taking the game slowly. hah. so funny. mr backhand. and my idol. yanyi! hah. he's really the man. he won his match. ohhh!! then we watched the other schools play. we are happy that hwa chong beat acjc! woohoo! (: watched the power match. seriously. even though she has a big ass, it's still not good enough to beat her opponent. hopeless man. maybe she should make her ass bigger so that she has more power to hit the ball. and maybe make her eyes bigger to look at people cause her eyes are really covered by stamps. we took a cab to opa to watch the rugby match. it was a good fight. could see the guys were playing hard. well. it was the last 6 mins that turned the whole game around. like what coach shaun always tell us. the ball is round, anything can happen. we all feel the pain inside us. it takes time to forget about it. there's still next year to win back the championships, (: like in the mitch albom book, it says 'what's wrong with being second'? well. we dont have to be winners all the time even though we tend to want to. just take it as this year is a bad year for sa. we will work even harder next year!
tomorrow will be last day for all my tests. i'm not sleeping enough yet i have to study. shit. worse thing still. instead of writing transciption, i wrote translation as my answer! dumb me. oh well. benny says it's better to learn your mistakes now and know it than make it during common test and promos. that's true actually, but i dont want to fail again! i keep failing my tests. goodness! i bet everyone is studying for maths test now. and yes. i am going to go now! wait! finally, i went to have tau huay with nic and benny. omfg. it's been like so long since i ate tau huay with tang yuan. but the most important thing is i went with nic and benny! (: tomorrow is the day for the tennis guys, soccer guys and netball girls. hope they play well tomorrow! (: REMEMBER! we are all champions. dont believe. ask my queen. she will tell you, we are champions but i am a champion. hah!
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
nothing's been the same once jc really begins. season is over. and we didnt manage to make it to the next round. everytime i think of the hwa chong match, it just comes back to the same point that i let loui and the team down. if it's not for my injury, i wouldnt have lost the match with loui. sometimes i really feel that i am not good enough. really. all our effort didnt pay off. all those damn physical we did, damn suicides and sprints. my goodness. just didnt pay off. i know the coaches are disappointed. not just a little. and i know the j2s are super disappointed too. i mean who can accept the fact that all those tough trainings, physical and insufficient sleep just go to waste in 2 weeks? it's the pain we feel deep down inside.
i dont enjoy school like how i used to. the lecturers are bad. it's not about the spoonfeeding. it's just that the teachers tend to go very fast and they will give you the reason saying that : we have no more time! come on. you would rather we know our stuff than not right? i see no point rushing, getting all the syllabus done but know nothing. and everything is screwed for today i tell you. i've got my auntie to go pick up the photocopied text from the uncle and guess what. he didnt photocopy it. like what the fuck. he could have called me to pick my original text earlier and gave someone else to photocopy. fine. he said it will be more expensive to photocopy so he told my auntie to tell me that i should buy a copy of the text. okay. so my aunt tried to help and she asked another photocopying shop to see if they wanna do the business. and the same thing they said to buy another copy. so when she came back she told me everything. how nice of her, she told me she checked with the bookshop auntie. and the auntie say that the copy costs about 65. so like yea. buy from her. called nic and told her. and then i rush all the way to coronation. and guess what?! the shop was close and i had to wait for like 10 mins. so finally when she came back, i asked her does she have the text now since i dont see on the shelf myself. and no! the texts have not arrive. oh my fucking shit okay. she could have told my auntie! then i dont have to rush here and there. instead, i have to place order! fuck! i came back home after that with nothing in my hands. HAHA! so funny ya? today is a screwed day totally. like it's trying to make a fool out of me. and sorry nic for all these inconvience. sorry.
like what jia said : all we need arent boyfriends now but good friends like us! i totally agree with jia. i mean boys may come and they may go, but friends will be there forever. they come in and out of lifes without leaving behind any footsteps. but friends leave not only a big big footstep but a very deep one!
Every day when the work is behind you. and the shop and the store put the lock on the door, just get away where your worries won't find you. If you like, well, I'll tell you more. Don't let the day get the better of you. When the evening comes, there's so much to do! You'd better put on your best and wear a smile. Come along with me a while'cause I tell you. I know a place where the music is fine and the lights are always low! I know a place where we can go. cheer up girl. nothing is that difficult. put your focus on something else. i am sure, you will be happier somehow. we will always be here for you. (:
Friday, April 06, 2007
hello! i am back. (: hah. much have happened since the last time i've blogged. i'm happy to have friends there for me. nic, jia, joshua and russell have put much happiness into my life. (: and not to forget benny, twin and the rest. i would like to thank rina too for knocking some sense into my head. making me realise something i didnt at first. met up with her yesterday after school. i miss her terribly. (: we went around talking, drinking bubble tea and did some window shopping. went to our favourite food place. SUSHI TEI! hah. we took the longest time ever to eat. and we were like so full after eating. think she's coming later to stay over at my place. and i guess she's still sleeping or having picnic now. hah. her mom is still as cute. she can never remember my name. so she calls me 'the once with the cute brother. ' (:
something bad happened over the week. and i am sick and tired of quarreling. seriously. just take the damn money. it's yours. you argue with me why i should pay and now you tell me you dont want me to pay. come on lahs. you need the money then just take it. dont come and turn the whole thing around and make us go through the same fucking thing again. and stop saying that i hate you or what so ever. cause it just seems like i'm the one forcing you to give in to me. now, all you have to do is get your facts right. you know. when you talk about something. you end up saying it in one circle and back again in another circle. but both are of different meanings. that's what pissed me off cause i dont even know whether i should believe what you said. which set of words you want me to believe. the first or the second? and there's no link whether i have my friends to back me up and you have amelia to back you up. NO LINK! and dont bring in the fact that your dad is not doing well to me cause in this kind of society, which business is not doing well. onc min you say you need me to pay cause your dad is having financial diff. later tell me no, it's because he's not doing well in his business. if since your family is not doing well, why do you still have to spend so much on cosmetic. it's because you want to. not because you need to or must have. still i see no link! you brought in the fact that you told me upon knowing that the pouch was found. yes. i am grateful for that. this shows that our friendship was built on honesty. but so what has it got to do with me that i have to pay you? the pouch is found. and now you have 2 sets. even better. i went to find out how long all those stuff expires. please. it's not as if it expires within half a year. so are you like trying to fool me since you know i know nuts about cosmetic? you couldnt even give me a good rationale why i should pay you since the pouch is found. you just keep going back to the fact that if it's not for me who lose your pouch, such things wouldnt have happened and if it didnt you wont have 2 sets. this is not a good reason for me to pay you. whatever it is. just take the money. you know. it not only annoys me or irritates me. it frustrates me when you have to keep pushing and pushing and pushing. excuse me. i only have such limits to everything i can take. i never mean it before in my life when i tell someone enough is enough. you pushed me to the extend to tell you to shut up. and still you dont get it and continue to push. you said you care about me, worry that i dont have money to eat. since when did you? everytime you message me the first thing i see is : jo, have you called the person yet/ remember to call the person okay. everytime you call me : did you call the person? is this called caring about me? more like you care about yourself. you indirectly say i am selfish. say that i care about myself, anything that has to do with me. my studies, my cca, my friends. say that i am self-centred. then arent you my friend? wasnt i trying to get the money to pay you? i hate to be in debt. and i never like to borrow money from people. that's why the more i shut myself away so that i wont have to go out and spend money. you said i didnt care about you. since when have i not? you said i am trying to push my responsibility away. since when? i just didnt see a point to pay you since the pouch is found. i dont see my fault now. it's totally different from pushing my blame away.
you said you drank ice water when you went to thai express that day with your friends. you didnt eat. and when your friends ask you is it you dont have money. you feel bad. if that's the case you can choose not to go. why do you have to put yourself in that kind of situation when you can avoid it. i can turn my friends down when they ask me out and give them a reason that i have to save money. why cant you? it's not even embarrassing. all you thought of was to be part of what they were doing. even so, you get affected. if they are really your friends, i think they will change their plans so that you wont have to spend so much money. if my friends can do it, why cant yours? you tell me you take taxi cause you are lazy to walk home. then if you are so lazy, then dont go to school. dont go out. so you dont have to take that long walk out of your house. you may think i am being crude. but this is how i really feel. i feel that there's no such need to keep it all inside me and swallow them down. i see no such need to why i shouldnt tell you. you know what. i dont think i have changed. but it's you who have changed. a good example is you put on make up now when you go out but you didnt do that in the past. i dont know how to talk to you anymore jean. everytime i'm telling myself. sit down and listen to her what she has to say. dont tell me it's message tone. it's bullshit. the words are there. the meanings are conveyed. i dont care what tone it is in. after you come and say that your family is not as rich as mine. what bullshit. there's no room for you to come and compare your family assets to mine. NO LINK! i did my part of reflecting and i think it's time for you to do that. there's no need to self reproach yourself after i said i will pay you. cause it just all seems like you are just giving in to me.
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