Monday, May 28, 2007

oh man. it's the start of the school hols already! that's damn fast. very soon, i will be sitting for my common test then after that i will be having my sept hols and then come my promos. shit. that's damn fast!

the hockey girls played well on thursday even though we lost by one goal. it's okay. (: i didnt know how to go home from delta. so i walked all the way to the bus stop after bukit merah library. i was thinking about secondary school life while walking. and the songs that were playing really triggered the thoughts. i purposely missed all my buses just to take 855 home. and guess what?! the bus that came was the bus i always take. hah. i recognise the bus number plate. it's TIB 913 Z. i saw stc girls on the bus and i thought i still belonged there. i was sitting on the seat and i just didnt feel the same. that's when i realised hey i am not wearing my ij blue. the portion above my ankle doesnt feel as if there's something around it cause i'm not wearing the stc socks! oh man. i miss stc like mad. like omfg. i was thinking about everything okay. then i felt something missing. and that's my whole pile of books with my file! hah. i used to carry them to and from school and everyone will always offer help to carry them for me cause it's bloody heavy. i dont know how to managed to carry them. (: i'm still carrying the bag i always carry to stc. and it's how many times lighter than what i used to carry to school. so wierd right?! i was counting down the number of bus stops left to my stop. and that's when 'unfaithful' started to play. it made me remember that very day jillian loved that song. hah. rina, jillian, i and someone else were at the bus stop waiting for the bus. i let her hear the song. and that very day was like after bio paper i think. ): i wanna go back to sec 4! i want 4a back! it made me remember the 855 gang too. hiya! i could also tapped my card before going down. last time i couldnt even do it please. my hands are full and i wont be able to tap. walked home and have this tendency to like look my reflection on the windows of the church. i am not vain kay. but it's like ya. i always look to see if my uniform was neat even though i am just a few blocks away from home. that's when i realised i am no longer wearing the ij blue AGAIN! ): shit.

i met weixuan. saw her like from far but couldnt like confirm it was her. i was so so happy to see her. stc people! hah. we talked under the damn hot sun. and we realised there's so many things in common that we are facing right now. like we cant clique and everything. and most of all. WE MISS STC! shit shit shit! i really miss times in stc. i admit i didnt really like stc. but now i love it. like what weixuan said : treasure the times in stc when you can! time pass by so quickly that we dont even realise. i cant do well in my tests. and i feel like a damn failure. it's quite demoralising to know that you are lagging behind when actually in secondary school, you are way in front of people. crap.

benny and twin are in china now. i wonder how they are doing. i miss them badly. ): i feel empty inside like so insignificant. yet i feel that i should be left alone. life's bad for me even though i will always say i'm fine. i am not okay. gotta go study now before heading to jia's house i think. i dont know where i am going after leaving dad's office. i feel lost.

  Thursday, May 17, 2007

my my. i can see my tagboard being flooded by you people. (: well. i just want to say.

happy belated birthday nicole tan!!! (((: though i know it's like umm. 2 days after your birthday but at least your special day has been made just for you. whee!! arent you happy? hah. well. let me give a brief summary of nicole tan's big day. ( it sounds like she's being proposed by someone.) on this special day, for the first time, you could see nicole tan from afar smiling to herself in the morning. it's like. she tries to keep her smile but then yet it was obvious. and yes. everyone wished her happy birthday. and abel teo thought that he wasnt the last. but apparently he was! (: tsk tsk tsk. abel teo. hah. okay. then we all went for assembly and she headed for class after that. well. it was like at 11 when i came out of bio lec. and i thought yes! now is the time to celebrate with my dearest girlfriend. and when i came out, while heading to the cafe, i bumped into guanghao and the rest. and he was like : die!! you know lt1 and lt2 have lecture. how to find a piano. luckily, it was his day. we just finished lec so the ava was empty for that period. (: happily walking to the cafe like asap, miss ng saw us. she says we cant be late. so have to be in by 1115. that was benny came along with twin with the cake. and ya. as usual. shit. i cant go cause i have tutorial. and guess what? yanxiu and i were the only ones in class while the others came in at 1130. pissing! ya ya. at least one slice of cake was left for me. yummy! :D it was delicious. hah! yuexing bought nic a cake. and that's when she got her present. hah. like cake at the sides of her face. eww! the student council norminees sang a birthday song for her. like 'use her for their campaign'. hah. how funny. and nicole keeps telling me the same thing. it was super funny and damn cute. she is like : jjooooo. my special day is ending soon. how? seriously, i dont know how to answer her. if i can, i will stop time for her. (: and she goes up to coach shaun they all saying : coach, you know today's a special day. hah. and i will be behind her hinting them what's the special day about. silly nic! (: but i still love you. and i will still love jia as much. as well as benny and twin! (:

we left for kallang at 1230. the guys put on a great fight. warren was super pissed with himself. and we realised when he's angry, he plays better. yingneng pissed his opponent off by taking the game slowly. hah. so funny. mr backhand. and my idol. yanyi! hah. he's really the man. he won his match. ohhh!! then we watched the other schools play. we are happy that hwa chong beat acjc! woohoo! (: watched the power match. seriously. even though she has a big ass, it's still not good enough to beat her opponent. hopeless man. maybe she should make her ass bigger so that she has more power to hit the ball. and maybe make her eyes bigger to look at people cause her eyes are really covered by stamps. we took a cab to opa to watch the rugby match. it was a good fight. could see the guys were playing hard. well. it was the last 6 mins that turned the whole game around. like what coach shaun always tell us. the ball is round, anything can happen. we all feel the pain inside us. it takes time to forget about it. there's still next year to win back the championships, (: like in the mitch albom book, it says 'what's wrong with being second'? well. we dont have to be winners all the time even though we tend to want to. just take it as this year is a bad year for sa. we will work even harder next year!

tomorrow will be last day for all my tests. i'm not sleeping enough yet i have to study. shit. worse thing still. instead of writing transciption, i wrote translation as my answer! dumb me. oh well. benny says it's better to learn your mistakes now and know it than make it during common test and promos. that's true actually, but i dont want to fail again! i keep failing my tests. goodness! i bet everyone is studying for maths test now. and yes. i am going to go now! wait! finally, i went to have tau huay with nic and benny. omfg. it's been like so long since i ate tau huay with tang yuan. but the most important thing is i went with nic and benny! (: tomorrow is the day for the tennis guys, soccer guys and netball girls. hope they play well tomorrow! (: REMEMBER! we are all champions. dont believe. ask my queen. she will tell you, we are champions but i am a champion. hah!

  Wednesday, May 02, 2007

nothing's been the same once jc really begins. season is over. and we didnt manage to make it to the next round. everytime i think of the hwa chong match, it just comes back to the same point that i let loui and the team down. if it's not for my injury, i wouldnt have lost the match with loui. sometimes i really feel that i am not good enough. really. all our effort didnt pay off. all those damn physical we did, damn suicides and sprints. my goodness. just didnt pay off. i know the coaches are disappointed. not just a little. and i know the j2s are super disappointed too. i mean who can accept the fact that all those tough trainings, physical and insufficient sleep just go to waste in 2 weeks? it's the pain we feel deep down inside.

i dont enjoy school like how i used to. the lecturers are bad. it's not about the spoonfeeding. it's just that the teachers tend to go very fast and they will give you the reason saying that : we have no more time! come on. you would rather we know our stuff than not right? i see no point rushing, getting all the syllabus done but know nothing. and everything is screwed for today i tell you. i've got my auntie to go pick up the photocopied text from the uncle and guess what. he didnt photocopy it. like what the fuck. he could have called me to pick my original text earlier and gave someone else to photocopy. fine. he said it will be more expensive to photocopy so he told my auntie to tell me that i should buy a copy of the text. okay. so my aunt tried to help and she asked another photocopying shop to see if they wanna do the business. and the same thing they said to buy another copy. so when she came back she told me everything. how nice of her, she told me she checked with the bookshop auntie. and the auntie say that the copy costs about 65. so like yea. buy from her. called nic and told her. and then i rush all the way to coronation. and guess what?! the shop was close and i had to wait for like 10 mins. so finally when she came back, i asked her does she have the text now since i dont see on the shelf myself. and no! the texts have not arrive. oh my fucking shit okay. she could have told my auntie! then i dont have to rush here and there. instead, i have to place order! fuck! i came back home after that with nothing in my hands. HAHA! so funny ya? today is a screwed day totally. like it's trying to make a fool out of me. and sorry nic for all these inconvience. sorry.

like what jia said : all we need arent boyfriends now but good friends like us! i totally agree with jia. i mean boys may come and they may go, but friends will be there forever. they come in and out of lifes without leaving behind any footsteps. but friends leave not only a big big footstep but a very deep one!

Every day when the work is behind you. and the shop and the store put the lock on the door, just get away where your worries won't find you. If you like, well, I'll tell you more. Don't let the day get the better of you. When the evening comes, there's so much to do! You'd better put on your best and wear a smile. Come along with me a while'cause I tell you. I know a place where the music is fine and the lights are always low! I know a place where we can go. cheer up girl. nothing is that difficult. put your focus on something else. i am sure, you will be happier somehow. we will always be here for you. (:

 

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